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Choice means a complicated process of exploring all your options and deciding which one meets your wants and needs the best.

I want to figure out a way to tell my daughter about things like masturbation and orgasm — not to mention sexual intercourse — in a more creative way than my mother did, which was to completely avoid the subject. When it came to how they learned about sex, my friends were split.

She smiled and said, “I call it ‘The last time I saw Elvis.'” We tried to come up with others, such as tying knots, twirling, ring around the rosy, but none sounded right. So I did what every modern mother does — I invited a focus group of mothers I know over for a virtual cup of coffee.

Someone suggested “playing with yourself,” but I didn’t like that because it made me think of dressing up a Barbie doll. I e-mailed each of them a short questionnaire about how they learned about sex, and from whom, and a variety of other topics like masturbation, oral sex, homosexuality and orgasm.

One measure of infidelity among couples is the frequency of children secretly conceived with a different partner, leading to "non-paternities".

Such covertly illegitimate children amount to about 1–2% of newborns in European populations.

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